Friday, May 3, 2013
Remember When I Could Do Everything?
Expectations, those life experiances we look forward to until reality sets in. By nature I like to be organized and on top of things. Picture the Von Trapp family from The Sound Of Music. Remember the part when Captain Von Trapp blows his whistle after which the kids line up in order and on Que.? That was my hope and my expectation when my 3 oldest were young. We had a schedule and worked our routine. I had our days planned and we kept to it consistently. Good food, clean house, fresh air and lots of trips to the library and park were the order of the day. Nothing was impossible if you were willing to work hard--or so I thought. I loved being a mom and felt confident in our decision to have more children.
Then life threw me a few curveballs that rocked my world and changed my expectations. We lost two babies in a row and the resulting physical and emotional challenges slowed me down. After getting healthy and strong again we continued with our plans and were blessed with three more children. Our last little guy came along three days after my 41st birthday and his delivery was anything but routine. The emergency C-section brought with it substantial blood loss and post-partum infection that drained me (literally). I remember three months post-partum wondering if I would ever feel good again, let alone do one-half of what I used to do with and for my family
Life changed for all of us and my expectations had to change as well. I no longer had the stamina to do all I wanted or needed to do in a day. With six kids, teenagers, tweens, and toddlers life was full and many times overwhelming. I realized in order to survive and remain reasonably sane I had to accept a much slower pace.
Six years later and we are still adjusting to a tired mom that used to do everything. Change is hard. My challenge will continue to be pacing myself and accepting all the help that comes my way. In the mean time I plan on enjoying every moment of everyday with the people I love the most--my family.