Remember When I Could Do Everything?

Lisa Facer is joining us today to share some wisdom on expectations. She is the mother of six children spanning from ages 6-22. She works at the local elementary school, is an excellent cook, is deeply loyal, and amazing with children. Here is her story.
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Expectations, those life experiances we look forward to until reality sets in. By nature I like to be organized and on top of things. Picture the Von Trapp family from The Sound Of Music. Remember the part when Captain Von Trapp blows his whistle after which the kids line up in order and on Que.? That was my hope and my expectation when my 3 oldest were young. We had a schedule and worked our routine. I had our days planned and we kept to it consistently. Good food, clean house, fresh air and lots of trips to the library and park were the order of the day. Nothing was impossible if you were willing to work hard--or so I thought. I loved being a mom and felt confident in our decision to have more children.

Then life threw me a few curveballs that rocked my world and changed my expectations. We lost two babies in a row and the resulting physical and emotional challenges slowed me down. After getting healthy and strong again we continued with our plans and were blessed with three more children. Our last little guy came along three days after my 41st birthday and his delivery was anything but routine. The emergency C-section brought with it substantial blood loss and post-partum infection that drained me (literally). I remember three months post-partum wondering if I would ever feel good again, let alone do one-half of what I used to do with and for my family

Life changed for all of us and my expectations had to change as well. I no longer had the stamina to do all I wanted or needed to do in a day. With six kids, teenagers, tweens, and toddlers life was full and many times overwhelming. I realized in order to survive and remain reasonably sane I had to accept a much slower pace.

Six years later and we are still adjusting to a tired mom that used to do everything. Change is hard. My challenge will continue to be pacing myself and accepting all the help that comes my way. In the mean time I plan on enjoying every moment of everyday with the people I love the most--my family.

Treasure Hunt With a Twist



The dirt is piled about six inches high.
I suppose I should have been watching
a little closer.



Before I share with you our family fun activity this week I thought you would enjoy a day in the life of moment. These things always happen on the days you have the least room for inconveniences. This is what I found in my car. Sometimes I wonder what my two year old is thinking...I suppose I've decided two year olds don't actually think, they just do. Seriously, who doesn't like a sandbox in their car? I'm really needing my car detailed now, but I'm kinda wondering what would be the point?

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I think we found something!

Okay, on to the fun. This weeks family fun idea is quick and simple. Treasure hunting with a medal detector. A good friend gave us an old metal detector but you can rent them online or at local shops. If you live by me your welcome to borrow ours. If you think it is something your family would enjoy frequently it might be best to buy. Don't forget to bring a shovel and something to hide your treasures in. Our loot: a penny, a piece of copper wire, a ball of aluminum foil, a nail, and a screw. My kids can't wait to do it again.

Probablly the coolest screw and nail we
have ever seen!

Digging for treasure

 For our treat we went with a family favorite. No Bakes. Sorry, but the cookies disapeared before I could take pictures.

No Bake Cookies                                              

2 C. sugar

1/2 C. milk

1/2 C. butter

1/8 tsp. salt

3 Tblsp. cocoa

1 tsp. vanilla

1 C. peanut butter

3 C. oats

Combine sugar, milk, butter, salt, and cocoa in pan over medium high. Stir until boiling, boil 1 minute. Remove from heat, add vanilla,  peanut butter and then oats. Mix until coated. Drop by Tbsp. onto foil or parchment paper to cool. (We accidentally left out 1 cup of sugar. They still tasted pretty yummy but they didn't set well)

Choose Your Battles Wisely

Excerpt from chapter 7 of Family Ever After

Choose your battles wisely. My mother-in-law maintains, “If it is not a big deal, don’t make it a big deal; if it is [a big deal], . . . make it [a big deal].” Some things are just not worth emotion and the time, but some things are, and we need to have the courage to address the bigger issues.

When my now brother-in-law was considering engagement to my sister, he was very concerned about how finances would affect their possible marriage. He would become worried or stressed every time she said something about going shopping, eating out, or spending any money at all. His concerns on this matter were valid, as he had come from a family which had fallen on very difficult financial times. Though his parents managed their money in many smart ways, their fiscal management did not prepare them for future financial strains. When unexpected medical expenses were added to existing debts, the stress caused tension in their marriage. My brother-in-law was afraid of having similar financial issues in his marriage and he and my sister began to have conflict over the very topic he feared. He says, “I remember one night when we sat in the car on a randomly selected road and discussed my fears. My girlfriend was really sensitive and I came to feel that she really understood why I was so scared and why spending habits were such a big deal to me. I realized that she didn’t want to go into debt either and that she knew spending wisely was important. I came to understand that she had her own fears of missing out on opportunities because of being too stingy. We discussed specifics and found solutions we were both happy with.” Neither of their spending habits was necessarily bad, but they were different and they needed to find common ground that he felt safe with and she felt comfortable with. He picked this battle because he wanted to have better than decent spending habits; he wanted to be ready for a rainy day. It was a battle wisely chosen, as it would have very likely become a raging conflict in their marriage. It improved their relationship by helping them to come together on an important issue and giving him the confidence to pop the question.

Next time you are choosing a battle, ask yourself if the battle will eventually help your relationships or hurt them. Spending habits can make or break a marriage, but does it really matter if your spouse wears mismatched socks? There is absolutely no way to avoid conflict, but everything isn’t and doesn’t need to be a conflict. Sometimes, it’s okay to let things go.
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A small blurb I wrote was featured in a msn article last week on 8 Secrets of Happy Moms by Natasha Burton: You can check it out at http://glo.msn.com/relationships/10-qualities-of-great-moms-9145.gallery. 
It is featured on the second and third page. Just click on the blue arrows to move pages.

Ice Cream Sandwiches and Paper Airplanes

I thought it was time for something new. On Wednesday I have always posted something from my book. Now, I'm going to try and post a fun family activitiy that you and yours could enjoy. It might be a treat, a craft, and adventure. I guess we'll just have to find out. I'm all about simple, cheap and fun and this next activity is just that. Paper airplane contest with homemade ice cream sandwiches. My family loved doing this...even my husband, which leads me to believe that even teenagers might enjoy it.

For the airplanes you just need paper and anything you want to decorate them with (Stickers, markers, glitter). This is a no rules contest. Just have everyone make a plane, line up on a starting line and say go. You could even award prizes (farthest distance, coolest art, longest airtime, best spiral...get creative).

For the ice cream sandwiches we just made my sister in law Liz's recipe for Chewy Chocolate Cookies and left out the peanut butter chips but I'm sure you could leave them in if your heart desires. After they had cooked and cooled we put about 1/2 c. of slightly softened ice cream between two cookies. We used playdough ice cream which looks lovely and in my opinion tastes disgusting (but my kids really love it), and cookie dough ice cream. If you were feeling super ambitious you could always make homemade icecream. It was a definite winner!

Recipe for Chewy Chocolate Cookies

1 1/4 cups butter

2 cups sugar

2 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

2 cups flour

3/4 cups cocoa

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt

1 10 oz. bag peanut butter chips

Preheat oven to 350. Mix first 4 ingredients. Mix dry ingredients in a seperate bowl and then add it to the butter/sugar mixture. Mix in peanut butter chips (optional). Drop onto cookie sheets, bake 8-9 minutes and cool completely.

I hope you enjoy it THIS MUCH!

When the Going Gets Tough . . . the Tough Should Slow Down

-Excerpt from chapter 8

As the temperatures dropped and the snow swirled around our car, I began holding my breath, only to catch myself taking a gulp a few seconds later. The winter storm was upon us in full fury as we drove across the barren plains of Wyoming. I could only hope my tires were up to the slushy and icy challenge. As the storm intensified, we chose to slow down and be more cautious. We knew that at our current speed, which was the speed meant for perfect weather, we had little traction and little control. We watched, horrified, as a truck flew by us and plummeted straight into the snow bank, followed by another car driving too fast for the weather conditions. After making sure the people in both vehicles were okay, we continued because our mini-van was incapable of pulling them out. We knew it was going to take longer to get to our destination at our turtle speed, but unlike the many cars nestled in the snow banks around us, we would make it to our destination long before they would.

Whenever the storms of our life roll in, we can only hope we are prepared with good traction on our tires, lots of windshield wiper fluid, and functional wipers. However, even when we are as prepared as we can be, sometimes we must slow down and even alter our course. If we had continued our journey at full speed in such uncertain and stressful conditions, I have no doubt that we would have crashed or become stuck like the many cars around us. Life is not always filled with sunshine and blue skies and when we try to race through as if nothing has changed, we often find ourselves crashing, burning, and taking longer to arrive at our desired destination than we would have if we had just slowed down. 

If you feel like you are being blown about in a blizzard, throw out the excess in your life and trim down your expectations. Sometimes this means setting even important things aside in order to take care of the most important things. I know this may seem impossible as many of you have your plates overflowing with responsibility. Try prioritizing a list of the things you need to do. Start at the top with the most important things and work as far down as possible. When the day is done and you have not finished everything on your list (which I have learned from experience is usually the case), learn to be happy with what you have accomplished and tell the rest of that list to take a hike till morning. 

If Only She Could See What I See

I know on Fridays everyone is looking for a great guest blog but today I changed it up. Since our theme this week has been about finding happiness, taking time for ourselves and our family I thought this video was fitting. We talk so much about loving our families but what about loving ourselves? I don't think I go a single day without a comment about how my pants are tight or my hair is falling out or my complexion is just not what it used to be. This video really made me think. Obviously most of us don't have the bombshell bodies we see plastered around us and who are we kidding... Most of them are airbrushed anyway. We are so much greater than we give ourselves credit for. One of my good friends made a comment this week that she hoped people could see past her exterior. It's so interesting to me that she said that because I truly think her exterior is beautiful! If only she could see what I see. If only I could see what my husband sees. If only we could see the good in ourselves.

Enjoy the video and let me know what you think. Check out our Geocaching Mania for some fun pictures!

Are You Doing What Makes You Happy?

With one arm holding the phone, I rushed around the kitchen wiping off counters, stacking dishes in the dish-washer, and browning meat for dinner. I was talking with my mom about financial woes, injuries, the deadline for this book, doctor visits, and new school clothes, when she pointed out to me, “When you get to be my age, you look back on your life and realize that so much of what you thought was a big deal, didn’t really matter at all.”

The wisest people in my life are always telling me to take pictures, write down the funny things your kids say, spend more time with your kids, go on dates, have more sex, or take a vacation. No one ever tells me to have a cleaner house, worry more about finances, or buy the kids more new clothes because they know in the end those things are just not a big deal and that they are not what create happily ever afters. 

(Excerpt from chapter four)

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Thank You to everyone who helped out and came to support with the Launch of "Family Ever After" at the Santaquin City Library. I had a wonderful time and enjoyed getting to meet new people. If you weren't able to make it and you would like a signed book you can purchase them from me or click on the picture of Family Ever After and it will take you to Barnes and Noble's web site. You can also purchase it on line at Amazon or Familius. This is a Great book for Mother's Day or to give as wedding gifts.