Monday, July 22, 2013

Strong Parents Foster Strong Families

There has been a controversial article floating around that I just had give my two scents about. The article questions whether or not it is okay for parents to go on trips or get-aways without their children. As per my last post you probablly have a good idea of where I stand on that issue. Let me say it one more time. We didn't marry our spouse to have children, we married them because we wanted to be with them.  With that said, I don't think every trip or fun adventure we have should be without our children, they will always be important, but they don't need to come along every time. You are not a bad parent because you want to be alone and make memories with your spouse. In fact I would say that is very healthy.

Spending quality happy time with our spouse plays a big factor in how happy our relationships are. How happy our relationships are play a big role in how happy our children are. Our children see how we interact as a couple. They watch when we steal a kiss, they cower when we berate our spouse, they feel safe when their parents embrace or hold hands.

Many years ago I worked at a YMCA day camp. One of the children's parents was having terrible relationship problems, and everything about this sweet little girl manifested her parents marital issues. She didn't want to play with other friends, she was scared she would never see her dad, and all of her artwork centered around her parents troubles. I spoke with the mother about my concern and she simply told me her daughter was fine, and I think she really believed it. That summer I spent more time with that womans daughter than she did ,and I guarantee you her parents relationship was like a weight around her neck. I don't know the details of this relationship and I'm sure both of her parents were experiencing great turmoil and likely doing the best they knew how with the situation they were in. I only share this story to magnify the point that a husband and wife's relationship most definately affects their children and the over all happiness of their family.

Do you think this girl would have been angry or sad if her parents took a vacation without her, if she knew it was brining them closer together? Do you think she would be happier if instead of yelling they were sweetly enjoying a magnificent sunset on the beach? Maybe they just needed some intimacy. (They definately couldn't be doing that with her around). Children are so wonderful and so draining. Believe me, I have four. They are more important to me than life itself and I want them to be happy and I want them to grow up in a happy home. I know that to accomplish my goal my husband and I need to be happy together.

I know that life and especially relationships aren't perfect or easy. I know that spouses aren't always honest and faithful and that going on dates and trips won't solve every problem, but I really believe it makes a difference. Sometimes I just need to enjoy my husband as Bryce not Dad and sometimes he just needs me to be Michelle for him, not Mom.
Just a heads up, previously I have been posting 3 times a week and though I have enjoyed it, it takes a bit too much time from my family. I have chosen  to post just once a week, (every Monday) with occasional suprises. Thank you for following this blog. I hope it really does help your family to be happier.

1 comment:

  1. I will miss your 3 times a week posts! Hurrah for you choosing your family first!