Monday, June 17, 2013

Yelling Doesn't Make Things Better

I would be a total liar if I didn't tell you that sometimes I yell. I try really hard not to but it just doesn't always work out. I didn't used to yell much but after I had my fourth kid, my husband was always out of town and I was never feeling well and something snapped. I became a bit of a crazy. I kept trying to maintain the life I had had with three kids and a husband around, but it wasn't happening.

I'm not a quitter. I kept trying to have that perfect life. I kept trying to prove that I could do it plus more, and yelling became my form of control. The only problem was that yelling never worked. The more I yelled the more rebellious my sweet kids became, the less I enjoyed my family and in turn my life, and I began to hate the way I was. As the yelling helped things to become progressively worse, I learned something. Yelling is a lot like complaining. It only makes things worse, never better.

My first step to gaining control was letting things go. If my house wasn't clean some days (that really means every day) I had to let it go. If my grass was too long (like every week) I had to let it go. If we ate grilled cheese for dinner, (like every night) I had to let it go. This however did not always work because after a certain point of letting things go I would snap. So...

My next step was to get  rid of things. This began my less is more phase of life and I am still working at it. It will probably be something I do forever because abundance seems to be an American way of life. Even when I don't buy things they still seem to find their way through my doors. If something is ugly, broken or old I fix it or get rid of it. If I don't have a place in or around my home (meaning no crowded bedrooms, hallways, or closets etc.) I have resolved to throw it out or give it away. Getting rid of things means I have less to worry about and take care of. It has also helped me to become more organized which saves me time and stress.

My third step was to enjoy life. I have a quote in my living room that says, "In all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed not just endured." This one is also a constant work in progress. Whenever I start to get consumed and stressed about what are usually the unimportant parts of life I try to stop and read stories to the kids, go to the park, and have family activities together. I also try to take a bit of time to myself.

Something amazing has begun to happen because of these three changes in my life. I am happier and though I am not perfect, I rarely yell. I feel like myself again, my children are more obedient, and we all enjoy each other much more. I have learned something, when I don't yell everything is better.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Michelle for this post. This is something I've been struggling with and have been working on changing! I love the quote you have in your living room. I need to remember that.