Win a Free Book!!!

Geocaching Mania! That's what I'm calling it. I can't think of a better way to celebrate Family Ever After than providing ways for families to spend time together and give them a chance to win a free book. Here is what you have to do. I will be posting GPS coordinates (found on the right hand side of my blog under Geocaching Mania Coordinates or by clicking on the Geocaching Mania Tab above) in random places and I want you and your family our spouse or whoever to go find it. When you find your treasure follow the instructions within and if you do you will be entered into a random drawing to win one of 8 free copies of Family Ever After. Winners will be announced on Friday April 12th and shipping is only provided to the lower 48 United States of America.

What is Geocaching? Basically it's a treasure hunt. I give you the GPS coordinates of a little box and you find it using a GPS. Many phones are now equipped with GPS or you can just use google earth. Remember, this is a treasure HUNT...if you don't see it right away don't give up. If you have any questions leave a comment and I will get back to you. We are starting with Utah and Florida but stay posted we are hoping to have a few more states added by tomorrow.

Good Luck and HAVE FUN!

Stay tuned to this week for more fun and a great guest blog by Heather Petersen on Friday. Thanks as always  for all of your support!

Family Ever After Releases Today!

Today is a big day for my family and me and we are excited to share it with all of you! Family Ever After releases today (this is not an April fools). It's been a lot of work and a lot of fun! This book has changed my life and my family for the better, and I know it can help your families as well. Though I am religious this book is not. It is intended to help families across the world, despite beliefs or denominations. If you would like to purchase a copy you can click on the picture of Family Ever After on the left hand side of our blog and it will link you to Barnes and noble. You can also purchase at Familius and Amazon or you can purchase a copy from me. After you read it, do us a favor and post reviews at those sights, tell your friends and family about it and follow us on our blog. There will be a lot of fun things going on on our blog this week to celebrate the launch of Family Ever After so stay tuned. I'm going to leave you this morning with a tribute to my parents because they are my example of what a happily ever after should be.

As my father was mowing the lawn one day, he unexpectedly found himself in a wrestling match with the lawn mower. Miraculously, despite the tumble of man and mower, he walked away with only a broken arm, sore muscles, scrapes, and a few bruises. About five days after the accident, I called to see how he was doing. He informed me that he was at the dentist with my mother, who had just had a root canal. He told me that he was worried about her because she had injured her knees, and was hoping for her to take care of the injury quickly before it caused her further pain. He spoke not of his own injuries, but of his wife’s current battle; it was so heartfelt and so sweet. I couldn’t help but think, “I love that my mom and dad are so invested and concerned for one another when both are dealing with great challenges. I love that, though it is difficult at times, they take care of each other. I love that they still love each other.” Even though they are in pain and still busy with work, grandchildren, and other responsibilities, they have discovered the key to peace and happiness. They are living happily ever after.

There is nothing extraordinary about my parents. They started the journey of their ever after the same way as the rest of us did. They have not been immune to tragedy, stress, loneliness, or failures, and yet they have found extraordinary happiness in life by showing love to the ones they love the most. 

Ever After Is a LONG Time...

James Hutchings is joining us today from Galesburg Illinois. He is the father of four boys and married to the love of his life or in other words, "the woman who tolerates him." He is a professor of Music but music isn't his life, family is his life. Here is what he has to say...

Ever after is a long time.

A really long time.

It’s longer than the last week of school, longer than your dentist appointment, longer than the Oscars. Yeah, that’s pretty long. In fact, it’s so long that it’s almost impossible to understand on a day to day basis because, as people, we are just too busy with today to worry about tomorrow, the next day or (gulp!) FOREVER. It might be hardest to remember when it comes to our families, you know, those people we spend the most time with every single day of our lives. It’s hard to think about ever after when we are organizing school lunches, dropping off children, planning for work, sanding down the wheels of pinewood derby cars, letting the dogs out, grocery shopping, serving in church and community, arranging play dates, teaching that poking your brother in the eye is wrong, and ignoring toddler tantrums despite the way they put you on edge like you are the one being poked in the eye. Then, when all that settles, you make lunch and start planning the afternoon. 

Most days, these are the things that keep us from worrying too much about the ever after. I mean, who has time to reflect on fifty, sixty, seventy years or more when all of this is going on? Some days I believe it is this chaos that keeps us from just throwing our breakfast all over the dining room and screaming maniacally because THE PRESSURE OF FOREVER IS JUST TOO MUCH! In addition, I think that wearing ourselves out in good works, especially to our families, might be precisely the reason we are alive.

Every now and again, though, it’s important to stop and remember that today is just one day; this week is just one week; this month will be over when the next one starts. Earlier this week, a dear friend of mine confided to me that she had made decisions that had consequences she was not expecting—permanent consequences. She was scared, felt alone, ashamed and could not see how her life would ever be what she wanted it to be. Because the days were so dark, she could not enjoy that long-range perspective that most of us, in our busy lives, neglect to recognize or simply take for granted. All of us will have a time when a family member or other loved one (or two or three) comes to us and cannot see their way out of what seems an impenetrably dark day, week, month, or year. In these moments, we need not be casualties of war but warriors wounded in battle who will heal and rise stronger than before. The promise of ever after, especially with our families, is that while the battles may never stop, neither will the victories.

Ever After is a long time, and you know what? That’s a good thing. 

Happily Ever Afters Don’t Just Happen

Happily ever afters don’t just happen; they must be made. There will be unforeseen bends and bumps. No marriage or family is free from exhaustion, financial struggle, argument, disappointment, tragedy, or heartache. We all have mornings when we wake up and wonder, “Who is this person I married, and what have I gotten myself into?” Maybe things in your family are good but could be better.  Maybe you feel like your family is broken or maybe you think they are so annoying you can’t stand to be with them. Maybe you’re depressed, or you always feel exhausted. There are numerous difficulties and detours on the road to ever after. Whatever your personal situation, the good news is there are things we can all do to make the burden lighter, and to have a stronger, happier family.

Everyone’s picture of happily ever after is different. My happily ever after is doing dishes with my husband and simply being happy to do it, sliding down a mountain on my bum and ripping a hole in my pants while my husband laughs at me because I’m too scared to walk down. It is watching my kids splash in the pool, their deep, carefree laughs filling the air. It is waking up Christmas morning to a house full of balloons, or lying on my husband’s shoulder feeling safe and protected. It is the joy that engulfs me when my family knows I love them, and the peace that comes from knowing how much they love me.  This is not the ever after I imagined years ago, as the satin folds of my white sparkling princess dress twirled around me and I was lost in my husband’s brown eyes. Nor is it what I imagined during our short honeymoon bliss. This is better because this is real. Find your vision of ever after and live it; you may be surprised to find the journey is the part you love the most.

This Is Really Hard!

(Excerpt chap. 1)

As the pace of life quickened, our waistlines began to expand, our hairlines began to recede, and the stress of life began to creep in. As our children joined our lives, our bed became the communal sleep fortress for our children and we forgot what it was like to have a solid night of rest. We would blow a kiss and holler an ‘I love you’ as we passed through the portal of our home.  There seemed to be a constant time lapse between us and we could never land ourselves in the same place at the same time. My happily ever after was quickly transforming into a heap of work, and I found myself thinking, “This is not what I signed up for—this is not how I pictured happily ever after.”  Then I realized, maybe this is what I signed up for and I just don’t know how to make my ever after happy. I began to wonder, if perhaps it is possible to have a happily ever after, even when my white picket fence is broken, my ‘beautiful’ lawn is dead, and my children are less than angelic.

This unexpected realization of hope was not without precedent in my life.  Similarly, as I had prepared to go to college, I had been smothered with warnings: “It is so hard,” “don’t give up,” or “you can do it.”  I, of course, was all confidence and not the least bit worried. As my first finals approached, in my sleep-deprived state, the stress of school tumbled down onto me and I quickly realized my previous visions of an easy and blissful college experience were flawed. I had then thought to myself, “This is really hard.”  The same is true in marriage and family life. Nothing can prepare us for such a lengthy road of dedication; the only way to experience and understand family life is to live it.

When I spoke to my baby sister two months after her marriage, she told me about an exceptionally discouraging argument she had with her husband. In desperation she had burst out, “I don’t know how to be married!”  This couple had spent months preparing for marriage. They had discussed every family life topic they could conjure up; they had taken marriage preparation classes, and they had seen each other in just about every circumstance imaginable. They had received solicited and not so solicited advice and tried to listen, but still they felt unprepared. The happiest couples I know, many whom have been married ten, twenty, and thirty or more years still have moments when they just don’t know what to do, and they find themselves saying, “this is really hard!”

Cleaning and Scrubbing Can Wait 'till Tomorrow

I'm excited to introduce Cherise Cooper.  She has one sweet baby girl and another expected any day now. She is a fantastic mother and great school teacher. She is beautifully honest about life and so great to be around! Here she is...

All growing up, my Mom had a cross stitched quote above the family piano. It reads, "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow, so quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby for babies don't keep."

When I was pregnant with my first child, my Dad offered this cross stitch to me. I framed it and put in my baby's room straight across from my rocking chair so that it is easy to read. Each day my life seems consumed with the minimal duties of keeping up with dishes, laundry, cooking, and cleaning. With the extra time I can squeeze in, I choose to fill it with budgeting, serving in my church, and small projects here and there. However, in reflection at the end of the day, what really are the most important things I do each day? What do i always look back on, grateful that I did?

It is always playing with my daughter. I'm due to have my 2nd baby in just 3 weeks and she is only 15 months old. These 15 months have gone by so quickly. Each day I feel like it is one of our last together as just her and I. So, now as I read that quote I try and make going on walks, playing at the park, hide and go seek and playing "house" as the most important things I do each day. It's so fun to see her interact with me and see her smile and hear her laugh as we spend quality time together. At nap time, it is so easy and tempting to pop my daughter's pacifier in and quickly put her in bed. However, I'm really trying to soak in the moment of holding her for at least just a minute while rocking and singing to her. I know that it won't be much long that she'll be to grown up for that. There is nothing like the feeling of your child's small body snuggled upon your shoulder

It is in these experiences, that I am truly living my life. 

If It's Important To Them I't's Important To Me

(Excerpt chap. 4)

I love it when my husband helps me with my creative projects, and he loves it when I go fishing with him. Neither of us loves the other’s hobby, but we love each other. We love making each other happy and we love being together. In order to show our loved ones that what is important to them is important to us, we must actually know what is important to them. I know it is important to my four-year-old to read her stories. I know it is important to listen to my nine-year-old and help her with creative projects. If we want to know what is important to our loved ones, it is important to pay attention, listen, and inquire. Sometimes, that means we have to stop doing what we are doing and refocus our attention on our family. There is no togetherness in families that are always doing their own thing separate from one another.

James, my brother and father of four boys, says, “I’m not a scouter. I haven’t been one since I was ten years old, and I actually have a great treasure trove of negative experiences, emotions, and memories to draw on to remind me why I don’t love scouting. Unfortunately, I’m the lucky father of four boys, and the ones who have experienced it love it. They love camping, hiking, biking, building, gaming, campfire-ing, and scouting in all its forms. I’ve slowly come to realize that while scouting can be great by itself, it’s much more effective, exciting, and enjoyable when boys can do it with their dads. In fact, only a handful of the scouts in the boys’ den even get that opportunity, coming mostly from single or uninvolved-parent homes, so I want to make sure my boys don’t miss out on the great joy that can come by doing these things together. I’ve attended meetings, helped them build, tolerated den leaders, stood up to misinformed authorities, gone to day camp three years in a row (so far) and had general great memories with my sons. I still don’t like the scouting, particularly, and I probably never will, but my sons will, and I'll be next to them while they do.”

It is exciting when someone is interested in you, your hobbies, and your passions. It is even better when that someone who is interested is someone you love.  Don’t blow off your family’s concerns or joys just because they seem unimportant to you. They are important to them. Life is made up of thousands of seemingly menial things that make up who we are, who we become, and what we believe. Our attitude toward the important things in our loved ones’ lives determines whether or not they feel loved and supported by us. 

Tune in with us Friday for a great guest post by Cherise Cooper!