Dang she is cute, and takes my breath as well as my sleep!
There I was with my brand new perfect little baby at something like 2:30am. Feeding session. You know how that goes. Exhausted to the point of tears, my butt aching from delivery, and my boobs killing me. It was practically my finest moment. I didn't want to fall asleep because even with baby number five, when I doze while nursing I wake up in a panic. (Where's the baby? Did I smother her? Did I drop her?) This newborn thing is total insanity on all levels. So anyway, I bust out the scriptures and open up to a section on the creation. The irony.
This is what I read, in reference to Adam and Eve in the Garden and the fall. "And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin." (2 Nephi 2:23)
Oh I laughed. Just in case you missed my humor, I will repeat. "And they would have no children...having no joy, for they knew no misery." Interpretation: Having children is commensurate to knowing misery. Seriously, I was laughing as I fed my baby in my total misery!
Having kids is hard. Physically, emotionally, spiritually and any other word you could reasonably ad "ly" to! But, I have found that, "this to shall pass." There have been equally beautiful moments with Isabelle as she peacefully sleeps on my chest or smiles that smile that makes me say ridiculous things in the squeakiest of mama voices. I make noises that no one should make just for the hope of seeing her eyes burst with innocent trust and sparkle with playful satisfaction. It's now a new game at our house to put dialogue to her coo's, squints, and smiles, and it truly does bring joy.
Already she is 4 months old! Three months! "And this too shall pass" I'm thinking way too fast...until maybe she is screaming at 3 in the morning. In which case I'll be thinking, it can't pass fast enough! But then again, "that too shall pass."