One chilly afternoon I found myself in our yard raking leaves--again--by myself. I was irritated at my mostly perfect husband for not raking already. Not so irritated about his missing presence. No. Irritated about his whole being. Why was he so stubborn? Why did he have to work so much? Why doesn't he listen to me? Why doesn't he ever eat breakfast? I't's safe to say that everything he'd ever done that rubbed me wrong was flooding through my mind.
This was a totally exagerated husband rampage and I knew it, but I couldn't stop the negative emotions. Call it hormones, lack of sleep, irrational, leaky faucet syndrome. It doesn't really matter what was causing it. I needed help. Who could I call? Who could I whine to about my really good life?
Though my mind was in turmoil, the day was peaceful and surreal. It felt so good and I realized it was the perfect moment for a prayer. I just laid it out. "Heavenly Father, I know he tries. I know he loves me. I know he is just as busy as me. Just one problem, I can't get over how irritating he can be. I need a fresh perspective. I need to see my husband through your eyes. Please Father, help me see him through your eyes." I prayed that prayer for days, and then weeks. "Help me see him through your eyes."
I can't really peg any special moment of change, but change I did. I started to notice all of the things he was doing that were hard for him. I started to put myself in his shoes. I started to have more gratitude for the work he did, and I began to feel a compassion for him I don't think I had felt in years. I started to realize how much God loved him and how much he needed him. How much I needed him and not just to rake the lawn.
I've always known that God loves all of his children. But sometimes, when it comes to my husband and his imperfections, I forget. He wants him to grow and improve and be a better husband, father and man, just like he wants me to grow and improve and be a better wife, mother, and woman. Even if I found every way to unfairly or even fairly demonize my husband, God would never see him that way.
I was reminded of all the struggles we had both faced in our marriage, and I was overwhelmed with gratitude that we could face those struggles together. Robert D. Hales, said it perfectly, "None of us marry perfection, we marry potential." Marriage is our opportunity to change together. To literally watch each other and help each other become the person God wants us to be. It is the opportunity to overcome addictions together. To rid our bad habits together. To try new things together. To be better together. To forgive more deeply and love more purely.I was finally getting a beautiful glimpse of my husband through God's eyes and I realized once again how much I love him.
